August 1, 2018
A recent e-message valediction from a friend – “Hope all is well”. It’s a simple enough statement, to which my immediate response is very typically, a joking “Me too!” #tumorhumor But last week was a scan week… and scan weeks are a different mental ballgame. That laughable “Me too!” morphs into a more sinister “Oh dude. I sooooo sincerely hope so too”. Do you know how annoying it is to try to calm an irrational person? Ever dealt with a toddler? A woman with PMS? A middle aged man who wants a corvette? You see my point now, don’t you? I don’t play well with irrational people, including those inside my own mind.
Me: “I don’t mean to trivialize the very real anxiety that comes along with scans. Is there reason to be a little unhinged and nervous about the possibility of “poor” results?”
Myself: “Yes, given the lengthy history, there most certainly is!”
Me: “And during this history… the days when radiology reports were 4 pages long and each lesion was numbered and itemized… Did nerves or worry about scan outcome ever change the results of any MRI?”
Myself: “Well no. But.”
Me: “So why are we STILL worrying about these kinds of things 5 years later?”
Myself: “Because I want to.”
Me: “Well there’s some sound logic. Have at it. Wallow in it.”
What, you expected a different conversational outcome? If you did, you’re one lucky human, because you clearly have never engaged in conversation with a sincerely irrational person. You don’t battle irrational with sensible logic. You throw chocolate at it, nod, smile, and walk away. Trust me on this one. I know things.
Sooooo… scanxiety behind us… here’s how everything has played out since March:
BODY: (May 29)
“Essentially stable study since 1/25/18 with no evidence of recurrent melanoma.” Exciting right!? **insert happy dance here**
Still have the 7×9 mm “scarlike focus” on the right lower lobe. Yup. Scars are usually pretty “scarlike”. Also noted is the same old, same old, 15×18 mm “cystic focus” on the pancreatic tail. Aaaaand of course, after teasing that the radiologist must not have been paying attention in late January (NO ovarian cysts noted on that report… ZERO), the gents have bounced back with an abundance of attention to the lady zone. – “Mildly prominent uterus with possible fluid within the endometrial canal. Probably simple 23 mm right ovarian cyst. Probably crenated left ovarian cyst. Probable nabothian cyst. These findings can be further evaluated sonographically.” Sooooo… ok… apparently they ARE paying attention!
April 24 – “No evidence of disease progression, with stable 2 mm enhancing lesion in the left occipital lobe. No new enhancing lesions.” Yippee-ky-yay… Mike is still gone, and Joey still hanging out there alone in the occipital being well behaved!
July 24 – “No evidence of disease progression. Stable 0.2-0.3 cm enhancing focus in the left occipital lobe.” Yippee-ky-wait… “An additional punctate enhancing focus just anterior to this lesion which may represent an additional satellite nodule versus small vessel, which appears unchanged dating back to 11/2/17.” Excuse me, wha? huh? Did Mike’s cat, Joey get a pet now too… oh God… what if it’s a squirrel? Whatever this “focus” is, it’s pretty darned tiny if they aren’t even bothering to put a measurement on it, and it’s been “unchanged” for atleast 8 months. Do I worry? No. Rational me is currently on board and in control. Just as with the body scans, sometimes things “come and go” depending on how closely the imaging is picked through. So, we wait until it goes away or grows. Until then, now that we’re (newly? again?) aware that it’s there, anyone have name suggestions? Perhaps we just stick with “Joey’s neighbor”, since it’s seemingly pretty insignificant at this point.
As to “Hope all is well”….. It is, my friend, and thank you for the wishes!
Got in a visit with the aquarium critters, and some bike time around Monterey in April.
Got to see this guy in June. Yeah, he tried to run away to MDA in Houston a couple of years ago. Puh-leeeze… like 1700 miles is a deterrent for me. Pssh.
Aaaaaand… apparently, I’ve been taken to Shanghai (via powerpoint presentation with the brain genius) this month! I hope I’m enjoying my trip!